Humans are not perfect. We were never meant to be so. For if we were, how is God supposed to have fun as our crazy great-uncle?
I don't like things that are always perfect, especially on the first attempt. Once you reach that sort of accomplishment and revel deep into it, you end up getting a hard-on for yourself. You think you're some magnificent infallible asshole demanding that everyone worships the ground you tread on, and the slightest bit of constructive criticism sets you off like an atomic bomb. You think you're such a know-it-all that you stop learning from others and your own mistakes and are therefore unteachable.
I know a few guys like that. In fact, I have three friends who fit what I've written down in the preceding paragraph to a T. To keep their true identities secret, let's just call them "Ian", "Akira", and "Michael".
Ian used to be the director of a prestigious college-based organization. He certainly has some of the qualifications. He has participated in nearly all of the company's major projects, was voted Member of the Month and Member of the Year, and is a straight-shooter.
However, Ian completely sucked when it came to being an effective leader. According to some of the organization's Board Members, he was an arrogant, condescending bully. One time, he threatened to fire the entire board the next day if each individual member couldn't give him an event budget by then. He talked down to them at times with egregious pedantry, hypercorrected their spelling and grammatical mistakes on monthly reports, rarely if ever listened and took in constructive criticism about his behavior, yelled at subordinates during company events, and had a messiah complex. In short, he was everyone's favorite stereotypical boss on television. Despite the fact that he helped usher in one of his company's most productive periods, everyone was getting sick of his autocratic tendencies. As a result, the Board fired Ian. Unfortunately, he was too much of a pussy to accept his fate and instead said that he resigned.
Akira is an aspiring English as a Second Language (ESL) teacher. He certainly fits the bill. Despite being Japanese from Osaka, his English is impeccable and he has been published in a literary magazine. He knows what he wants to teach and he gets along well with his prospective students, including those he taught whilst studying abroad.
However, Akira has had zero interpersonal relationship skills with his prospective co-workers. According to his fellow ESL teachers-in-training, he has been toxic. He thinks he's better than them and all of the other language teachers he has been observing. He has regularly disrupted some of the classes he has been observing. He once hounded one of his classmates to the point of tears and made most of his colleagues uncomfortable when they were studying abroad alongside him. As a result, Akira was banned from ever observing some of the classes at his university. He was also put on probation by his supervisor.
Finally, Michael was a Study Abroad student in Japan. Before he even went to that country, he thought he would immediately excel due to his experiences with the Japanese language and culture. He had hosted a high school student from his high school's sister school in Japan, has attended a university where 95% of the student demographic is Japanese, and has watched so many Asadora (朝ドラ, or morning dramas) that he might as well star in one.
However, Michael was in for a shock when he came to Japan for the first time. Despite his knowledge of Japanese culture and trivia, he found it difficult to communicate in the native language. He was further intimidated by the fact that his classmates (all who were foreigners from Taiwan and Korea) had a better command of the Japanese language than him and that he was the only foreign student from America who could speak English. As a result, Michael had a mini-breakdown in his class. Luckily, no one was around to see him cry.
When you look at these three examples, you may be thinking, "These guys are such suckers! There's no way those things could happen to me!" You're not helping, and most likely you're going to fall into the same trap. For those of you who currently know what this is like and are stuck in such a funk, fear not! It's not the end of the world. It's all just part of that exhausted phrase and phase in life, "the learning curve".
It's easy to get knocked down and stay down when you land in hot water. While you're steaming (or boiling), you have two choices: you can stay put and become human soup for society to devour (and spit out in disgust), or you can get out of the boiling cauldron and do your best to stay out (as well as make a better soup). That, my friends, is learning.
Don't take it from me. Take it from the three not-so-miserable specimens I have mentioned.
For Ian, getting fired from his job stung like a thousand hornets. He eventually accepted that he was actually fired and got to see why. He has started to become a bit nicer to others (he's still a bit condescending and harsh in his dealings, but not to the point of abuse anymore). He has also started to listen and take in constructive criticism from others. Finally, he has started making amends with his former company's Board Members and subordinates.
Being banned from class observations and being put on probation didn't settle well for Akira. For the first few months, he was devastated and miserable. But thanks to a supportive and caring supervisor and friends, he got to acknowledge most of the errors of his ways and started to change himself. Since then, he has become more humble and has begun sitting in the back corner of the language classes he has been reinstated to observe. He has become more open to new ideas and new ways of approaching interpersonal relationships (a fellow ESL teacher-in-training suggested he should ask for something to be done instead of command or order them). As a result, he has started to win back the respect of his colleagues and the other language teachers. He's still has a few minor issues in communicating with others, but he has been improving little-by-little.
Finally, Michael accepted that he did not know much about the Japanese language. Despite his handicap, he had lots of support from his fellow classmates, teachers, and host family. They empathized with his struggles and he began talking to them more. The ice began to break and melt once he became more open. By the time his term was over, he had given an entire presentation (memorized) in Japanese (which he got a perfect score in) and delivered a speech entirely in that language! Michael has admitted that his Japanese may still not be great, but he has been improving steadily since that experience.
Learning when you think you know everything may not sound fun. That's understandable and true - if you are God himself whether he exists or not. The more you learn and improve the more you grow and thrive as a person. And that's one of the truest meanings of life, isn't it?
Keep learning, man.
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